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The Twelve Pounds Of Christmas

|||The Twelve Pounds Of Christmas

The Twelve Pounds Of Christmas

Well it’s starting again! The food police are out in force this year.

This is the time of year when all your well meaning relatives, co-workers and friends start in with there not so helpful comments about what you should or should not be eating.

There is nothing like gathering with family and friends for a holiday meal and a side of guilt.
Take a deep breath…. OK, now let it out slow….

Well in honor of anyone that has had to deal with the Food Police during the holidays or anytime for that matter, I have a little rendition of the Twelve Days Of Christmas for you. Have fun with it and de-stress…

The Twelve Pounds Of Christmas

(Read it to the tune of the twelve days of Christmas and it will make more sense)

do these jeansOn the first day of Christmas my true love said to me….
“You still look really good to me!”

On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me….
“I really didn’t notice, and you still look really good to me”

On the third day of Christmas My Mother Said to me….
“You’re Big Boned…I really didn’t notice… And you still look really good to me!”

On the fourth day Of Christmas my Grandma said to me…
” Are you retaining Fluid?… You’re Big Boned… I really didn’t notice…. And you still look really good to me!”

8600007564_f7350c9cf9_hOn the fifth Day of Christmas my friends all said to me…
“THE DRIER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!!”
“Are you retaining fluid… You’re Big boned…. I really didn’t notice…. And You still look really good to me!”

On the sixth day of Christmas my father said to me…
“Cut back Just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!
Are you retaining fluid?… You’re Big Boned…. I really didn’t notice… And You still Look Really Good To Me!”

On the seventh day of Christmas my Uncle said to me….
“Don’t go back for seconds…. Cut back just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!!…
Are you retaining fluid?… You’re Big Boned…. I really didn’t notice… And you still look really good to me!”

On the eighth day of Christmas my Sister said to me…
“That’s not on Weight Watchers!… Don’t go back for seconds… Cut back just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!…
Are you retaining fluid?… You’re Big Boned!… I really didn’t notice… And you still look really good to me!”

thumb_dwight-schrute-meme-generator-did-you-say-spandex-90feb7On the ninth day of Christmas my Cousin said to me…
I wouldn’t wear that spandex!…. “That’s not on Weight Watchers!… Don’t go back for seconds… Cut back just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!...
Are you retaining fluid?… You’re Big Boned!… I really didn’t notice… and you still look really good to me!”

On the tenth day of Christmas my brother said to me…
“Schedule Liposuction!!!… I wouldn’t wear that spandex!… That’s not on Weight Watchers!… Don’t go back for seconds!… Cut back Just a Little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!…
Are you retaining Fluid?… You’re Big Boned!… I really didn’t notice… and you still look really good to me!

On the eleventh day of Christmas my nephew said to me…
Grazing is for cattle…. Schedule Liposuction…. I wouldn’t wear that spandex… That’s not on Weight Watchers… Don’t go back for seconds… Cut back just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!…
Are you retaining Fluid?… You’re Big Boned!… I really didn’t notice… And you still look really good to me!!!”

CartoonFatManOnScaleWithMirror-300x250On the twelfth day of Christmas my mirror said to me….
Tomorrow I’ll start my diet…. Grazing is for cattle… Schedule Liposuction…I wouldn’t wear that spandex… That’s not on weight Watchers!… Don’t go back for seconds… Cut back just a little…
THE DRYER SHRUNK MY JEANS!!!…
Are you retaining fluid?… You’re Big Boned!… I really didn’t notice…

And YOU STILL LOOK REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!”

Have a great Christmas Everyone!!! Don’t let the food police get you down. They mean well after all.

2016-12-12T22:23:26+00:00